Today at the registration counter of a government office, i was asked a few basic details about me. After name and age, I was asked if i was married, when i said No, the female at the counter looked flabbergasted with ‘OMG, itni age tak bhi shaadi nahi hui’ (OMG, still not married, looks well above marriageable age), written profoundly on her face.
The bouncer was yet to come.
Address details were taken, next came the working or non-working part. I said No even to this. Housewife was not the choice she could have filled, considering the aforementioned not married status. The only words her brain and mouth could churn out were, ‘to kya aise hi hai’ (So, is she spending her life just like that, no job, no family?).
‘Aise hi hai?’ What does that mean. A person not married and not working (the most depressing and feel sorry for you combination as per so many people) does not have a right to existence on this planet or what????
Prior to this also i have been a victim of numerous such comments. One of them being, ‘jin ladkiyon ki shaadi nahi hoti wo pagal ho jaati hain’ (girls who dont get married turn into lunatics).
Volley of such questions have been a part of my life ever since i quit my job some four years back. So i have almost become immune to give unnecessary reactions. But this one came as a tight slap, one of the most hideous takes on my life’s current status and i could not stop but pour my thoughts here.
My only point of putting these thoughts here is that its important and absolutely necessary for people to know that each one of us is trying to fulfill certain life’s goals to the best of their abilities. These will never be attached as a prefix to your name as a Dr., Er., Prof., etc. as a qualification or a glorified title in your resume, but these are etched in the minds and hearts of people who are actually living these goals. They live for themselves and their loved ones.
There is a life beyond the so called 9 to 5 jobs and even single women do have goals to fulfill, families to look after. They are as normal or may be better homemakers if not housewives as any other married, working/non-working woman is.
Random people who have met you for the first time in life, like this ‘aise hi hai’ registration counter aunty; definitely need some soft skills training as to how to talk to people and how not to pass personal comments when dealing with public whose background they obviously dont know.
I cannot control what outsiders say to me most of the times, but its my special request to my family, close friends, just friends and relatives to not be judgmental about my life’s decisions.
I have had enough suggestions about marriage, career, business options, best timepass activities. And please, taking up a job so that i get better matches for marriage is not my take on finding the best match for me (this suggestion is the most popular one, so required special mention). Thanks everyone for all your inputs.
I will marry the day i find the best man for myself and will take my career up again the day i wish to. As of now, i am absolutely happy and healthy, and wish to stay that ways for a lifetime this was for the friends (family and relations included).
For the outsiders, please go get a life yourself, i guess u are jealous of me biggggg time